For people with bipolar disorder, how did it feel once you began taking medication?

For people with bipolar disorder, how did it feel once you began taking medication?

I have bipolar II disorder and ADHD.

Bipolar II is on the bipolar spectrum and is characterized by hypomania and bipolar depression. I have rapid cycling between hypomania and depression with mixed-episodes. My hypomania is grandiose thinking, decreased need for sleep, increased talking, racing thoughts, distractibility, overactivity, and high risk behavior including hypersexuality. My mixed-episodes present as irritability.

My ADHD significantly impairs my cognition and exacerbates my bipolar symptoms. It causes me difficulty in focusing, forgetfulness, lack of concentration, and problems paying attention, in addition to racing thoughts. It also contributes to my bipolar irritability and impulsiveness. I have to treat my ADHD and bipolar II disorders separately, and need medications for both.

I try hard to be compliant with my mental health treatment and generally take my medication as prescribed. However, I am very vulnerable to stress so any negative changes in my life adversely affect my bipolar symptoms.

My bipolar II cycle starts with hypomania where my emotions are elevated, and I am cognitively sharp, but I have rapid thinking and flight of ideas which undermine my high cognitive functioning. My hypomania feels awesome and even though intellectually I know I should be seeking help at this point and call my doctor, I won’t because emotionally I am crazy happy (no pun intended).

Next, my emotions will turn into a mixed-mood, and I realize I fucked up by not calling my doctor. But in my mixed-mood, I lose my thread of sanity, and start self-treating myself and interfering with my doctor’s treatment plan such as doubling my ADHD meds to force myself back into hypomania.

Then, the depression descends and I sink into a deep psychic black hole.

After 30 years of this pattern I know the drill. I automatically check myself into a psychiatric hospital for rest, psychotherapy, and drugs. Because I don’t go for too long without medication in my system, maybe about two-three months, after about three days in the hospital, the efficacy of my new psychotropics kicks in and it feels like a light switch has been flipped on in my brain. After being utterly depressed, just feeling normal again is a high.

Taking effective medication for bipolar is the best feeling.